Dear kindred friend,
My allergies have been kicking my butt and I have been forced to slow down, work less, and let some of my to-do list just not get done. For this Type A girl, this has been a hard pill to swallow. But there also isn’t much I can do about it. My body physically will not let me do everything I dream it to.
And this is probably a good thing.
Ironically (or not), the reflection question for May was all about rest. While I feel like I rested well this month, I think it’s telling that I’m still trying to push beyond maybe what my body thinks it’s up for and asking for even more rest. More on this below:
Like I said, May was actually pretty restful for me! I took a week off of work (semi half off for business work, because a small business is hard to run when the main woman power stops). I more or less stopped working on the weekends. I didn’t start working until 9 in the morning and stopped work at 6 in the evening. I felt like I had pretty good boundaries between work and rest.
For the moments I didn’t feel like I was resting well or was tempted to work more, beyond the boundaries and limits I had given myself, I tried to remind myself to be kind and be gracious to myself. It’s okay and very human to not get it right each day and every moment. It’s okay to feel a little more tired one day and not push through a work day. It’s okay to have worked beyond the limits another day. There is grace for these moments and I am learning how to be better in this area.
As May is coming to a close, I think I can honestly say that I have felt more rested and able to stop and enjoy the world around me than I have this whole academic year (2019-2020). Being in quarantine and having a lot of things cancelled certainly has a lot to do with this and there is some disappointment with this. But it has also given me an opportunity to try to rest well and to also say with confidence that I can rest well, without sacrificing too many other things for it. This encourages me as I move forward into summer and as the city (and country) slowly begins to open back up.
As a continued side note from above, while I’ve definitely been feeling more rested these past few weeks, allergies have been a bully and have knocked me out many days or taken a full day of work and turned it into a half day. Because these moments were not in my planned out rhythm or schedule, I have gotten frustrated and tempted to push through and over compensate for these moments. There is sometimes room for those moments, but there is also freedom to let my body heal and take the rest it needs when it is not feeling well. I know the work I would get done otherwise is just not the same when I’m trying to force it. In these random unwell moments, I’m learning more so the lessons of kindness and grace. Learning that rest in these moments isn’t a sign of weakness or quitting, but letting my body recuperate so I will feel more able sooner.
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