I have a confession. I didn’t think I would have a word for my 2023 year. I thought that I would reuse the word I had last year, “space” because I for sure had not lived into that last year as well as I had imagined.
So I buckled in for pursuing more space again this year.
However, in the midst of my reviewing of last year, and reflecting for this upcoming year, another word found its way into the stillness of my heart and settled there. Release.
As you may know, I am a Type A person. I really love having a schedule, clear expectations, and, well, control. I’m an efficient worker and thrive on finding the fastest (with excellence) way to get things done so that I can move on and do more of what I love.
I’ve loved this so much that in some ways it has become a part of my identity and when there feels like a lack of Type-A-ness, I can sense it in my heart.
Enter my toddler.
If you have been with a toddler for any length of time, you know that toddlers are not quite like that. They are easily distracted, change their minds with seemingly no reason, and can move so very slowly.
Whatever expectations I have lived with surrounding my schedule, alone time, etc. has shifted and been changed. Not necessarily because my toddler is always physically with me, but also because she’s mentally always with me and its become increasingly harder to gear shift between job, business, family, home, personal, etc. without some elbow grease.
My exceeding efficiency with excellence has decreased and in some ways that is a good thing, but it hasn’t happened without a conscious effort and acknowledgement of a need to release.
I’m learning that I can’t let the identity of efficiency take over and tear me from the inside out whenever my toddler (or other life things) throw my expectations or schedule off. Its something I needed to release. But not just say I needed. I need to build a practice of release.
Physical release with steady breaths when the toddler feels are BIG. Emotional release and feelings acknowledgment of how I can never seem to find the balance of motherhood and business and home. Mental release to take breaks more often than I needed before. And a general release of time and space to spend re-understanding who I am in this new season of motherhood, a business that sold out, and a sense of transition around the proverbial corner.
As we head into February and finish out our first month of 2023, how does this year feel to you friend? How about relative to January 2022?
A few other questions you can use to check-in with yourself:
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