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Monthly Check-In Reflection – March 2020

March 30, 2020

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From our founder:

“This month’s check-in question was kind of funny to read and hard to think about because while the first half of March felt relatively normal, the second half has felt totally abnormal and long. I saw a meme this morning that said ‘Welcome to the 301st Monday of March,’ and it felt very real.

But just because the question felt funny or that it didn’t fit well, didn’t give me a reason not to check in with myself this weekend, so I did:

‘You’re a quarter through the year! Are there any rhythms you need to add, change, or stop in order to fulfill who you’re becoming?’

Like I said before, those first couple weeks of March felt relatively normal. And to be honest with y’all, I felt on top of it coming into this month. I actually had a daily rhythm written for each day of the week, had weekly, monthly, and annual rhythms written in the notes section of my kindred planner and was actually following them pretty well.

But then, somewhere around March 12th, COVID-19 became a greater concern for the Boston area and my rhythms were completely thrown out in less than 24 hours. Initially it was fine, the adrenaline was pumping as I was being challenged to come up with new rhythms and systems to get my work done, help and care for others, and etc., and I was doing fine.

But then, just this last week, even the rhythms I thought I had come up with had to be adjusted as my other job began to settle into place, disrupting the rhythms I thought would work and it was another complete overhaul. This time I’m not feeling as fine as I’m still figuring things out.

Needless to say, these last two weeks have had weird rhythms, basically non-existent ones, and vary from week to week and day to day. I’m hopeful the rhythms will settle into place soon, as having rhythms help me focus and predictability helps me anticipate when I can get work done. But in the meantime as I wait for those rhythms to settle, I’m focusing on the things I desire to be true in each of my days as listed in this post. As having these help give me some semblance of rhythm. And also practicing a lot of grace and kindness to myself and others in this transition season.

Which brings me to the last part of the question that matters the most (in my opinion) – the person I am becoming. If we were to boil the question down to its bare bones, the question is really asking, how are we developing rhythms to help us focus on the person we want to become?

There may not be great rhythms to my week or day just yet, but it’s almost in this lack of rhythm that I’ve gotten to notice more of the person I am being. Am I being grateful? Am I being present? Am I being patient? Am I being kind (to myself and others)? Am I being still?

I’d like to say the answer to all those questions is a resounding ‘yes,’ but it’s definitely not. I haven’t been the most grateful, present, patient, kind or still person. I’ve often been angry, cranky, frustrated, judgmental, impatient, selfish, restless, and anxious. Not that these are inappropriate feelings to experience during this season, but I know in my core when I’ve maybe spent a few too many hours or days in these mindsets as it begins to affect how I’m engaging with myself and others in my life.

In picking up on how this COVID-19 season and lack of rhythm is showing me a lot of the person I am currently, I noticed in my reflection time, that there was therefore also a great opportunity to build practices to help me grow in the person (kind, patient, grateful, present, still) I do want to become.

These practices I may not have built into my rhythm or schedule before (or with limited time for them), but now that I am starting fresh in building my rhythms, I can create space for these “be” practices as I build. This way, as I build my new rhythms, I will have a new rhythm that will allow for greater emphasis and priority towards who I am and who I desire to become.

So funnily enough, even though my rhythms for March got completely derailed in many ways, it was almost needed so I could reevaluate where I needed to put greater emphasis on be practices to help shift my year towards one that would greater help me focus on who I’m becoming.”

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