I have a confession.

In April I jumped on a call with this guy named Jake and Jake, along with his coworker Stephanie, offered Kindred a huge opportunity to take Kindred to a whole new level. An opportunity that would open doors to huge brand names like Paper Source, Uncommon Goods, Barnes & Noble, etc. An opportunity to see Kindred products in these kinds of stores.

The obvious answer was “yes.” Why wouldn’t I take this opportunity? As a still young business, this seemed like the perfect next step for pushing the business beyond the network it currently has and to be recognized more nationally.

And yet. While the obvious answer was “yes,” there was something in my gut and heart that held me back.

It wasn’t the finances, we could make this opportunity work. It wasn’t necessarily the timing, my husben would be taking time off of work this summer and we had a babysitter lined up so there was more help with baby girl. It wasn’t the lack of interest or desire, both were definitely there.

It was the immense amount of energy that would be needed and the resulting lack of rest that would undoubtedly come by saying “yes.”

And as someone who did not rest nearly as well this spring as she desired, looking at a summer season of intense hard (fun) work, leading into another season of busy (August to January is my busy season) seemed daunting.

So with sadness, I said no.

I probably wrote and rewrote the email with my decision at least 5 times; reminding myself that this was the right step, for now. Trying to remind myself of every true statement I’ve been told and also tell others:

• “saying no now doesn’t mean no for forever”
• “no is really not yet”
• “maybe this no is a form of protection for something you don’t even know.”

But it still felt hard to say no. And it sometimes still does feel sad to feel like I’ve missed out, not only something, but the potential outcomes as well.

Yet, when I take a moment to look at the rhythms I’ve set in place for summer, I realize that my “no” was actually the best “yes” I could have given.

Saying “no” has meant significant more quality time as a family. Saying “no” has meant more time to be creative beyond Kindred (hello my long list of house projects). Saying “no” has meant more opportunities to read that list of books I keep trying to get through. Saying “no” has meant getting to go to bed early and sleeping in (kinda). Saying “no” has meant a greater focus on my being and being less trapped by my desire to do. Saying “no” has helped reorient my heart to remember my worth and identity are based not on what I do but in who I am.

As you reflect on the spring and look forward to your summer, ask yourself this:*

How have you found rest this spring season? Where do you need to be reminded of your being as distinct from your doing?

And consider, how the way you respond might dictate what is necessary for your summer rhythms. Some questions that might be helpful:

• Do you need to commit to spending less time on your phone before bed?
• Do you need to set limits on how many projects or trips you take on?
• Do you need to commit to a hard stop on your work day?
• Do you need to add a midday walk to your schedule?
• Would it be helpful to add a time of journaling and reflection to the beginning or end of your day?
• What rhythm will help you take a pause and remind you of your worth as who you are, not what you do?

With joy & gratitude,

Val

*Reflection question taken from our May end of month question in our 2022 Kindred Planner. Shop them at 70% off right now! Or our undated planner, reflection questions also included.